Today (July 2015) I discovered something very interesting. I learned that there has been some subconscious programming going on inside of me. What is fascinating is that consciously I did not believe this programming–in fact, I have been extremely conscious of why I fought depression for a dozen years. So to learn that there has still been a message that has been trying to sabotage me–for 15 years–was a revelation.
The message that has been running in my subconscious mind was, “The depression scarred my family.”
I know there were many times during the battle that I did feel that I was scarring my family…that what I was going through was affecting them in terrible ways.
And then another thought planted itself inside of me and I give all credit to God. The thought was, “There is a very good reason for why you are suffering with depression. When you get through this, you will be a strength to your family and a host of others who suffer. You will know what it feels and acts like. You are breaking a cycle that goes back generations in your family line.”
I decided to have faith in this thought even though there were many times when I just couldn’t believe it because it was so hard, so dark, so empty.
So, today when I learned about the subconscious programming in my mind, I had the opportunity to release that false programming by talking with God and forgiving myself. I got to forgive myself for believing that I have scarred my family due to the depression! I got to replace the false programming with the truth: I have broken a cycle for generations. My journey brings hope and healing to others. My family has been richly blessed because of my journey and finding healing.
Your subconscious is likely feeding you a lot of false programming. And it’s contributing to your fight with depression or chaos in your life. I invite you to ask, “What is a program running in my mind?” And then challenge it, flip it around, and find the truth.
It matters!
(first published July 2015)
