I had an experience last night in my parenting that validated something that I was pretty sure had been happening. It brought up a lot of anger and frustration and the “if I was a better parent, this would not have happened…” belief.
I woke this morning knowing I had two choices: to continue to fret and be angry by what I knew and to hope that eventually it would not be foremost on my mind–like has happened so many times before; or hit it head on and uncover the root to the belief and what it was doing to me.
I chose the latter because in 46 years I have had lots of experience holding onto beliefs that have caused resentment, frustration, anger, hiding–all of which fed nicely into the depression and anxiety I fought for 12 years.
And so I sat and began to write. And through this process I learned how the belief “if I was a better parent this would not have happened” was personally creating chaos in me. I learned that it has been providing a scapegoat for my children to hide when they make a mistake. It was a way for them to blame me for their mistakes instead of owning them themselves and taking the steps to righting them. I learned that I can apologize and move forward with the truth: I am a good parent. I recognize my mistakes and take responsibility. I create a place of peace and truth with my children. I honor my children as I allow them to take responsibility for their actions.
What beliefs are you holding onto that are creating chaos in your life?
Is it time to do something to address these beliefs?