What do you remember about your first pair of shoes? Were they flashy? Were they cute? Were they in style? Were they lace up or velcro? Were you excited by them or embarrassed by them?

I remember teaching my younger brother how to tie his shoes. I also remember when velcro became the “in” thing. I remember thinking it looked tacky…but oh well!

I also remember someone pointing out how much simpler this was going to make putting shoes on kids–no laces!

When it comes to teaching our children how to understand and process their emotions, in essence we have handed them new shoes with velcro instead of lace strings. We’ve either said, “I don’t know how to tie shoes so I’m just going to make this easy on both of us” or “It will take too much time to teach you how to tie these shoes. So I chose the velcro kind to make it easier for both of us.”

“Tying shoes” is the art of facing, feeling, seeing, and hearing our emotions. It’s the art of understanding that our emotions are not the enemy but are in fact our teachers. It’s the art of knowing that emotions provide an opportunity for security.

If you don’t know how to “tie your own shoes” or if you believe you don’t have time to teach someone else how to “tie their own shoes,” I invite you to begin with you. Learn how to face, feel, see, and hear your own emotions. Learn how to “tie your own shoes” first.

It matters!

picture from versusbattle.com