There is an image in my mind and a feeling in my heart. It doesn’t go away. I am standing and in front of me is a chasm. It isn’t very wide–only about 4″-5″. I could easily step over it and move forward but something is holding me back. I can’t place what it is. I don’t understand why I can’t just step over it. I am stopped. I rock back and forth at the chasm, wondering what it means and why it is there. Even more so, I wonder why in the world I can’t just step over it and be on my way.
I remember this image and the attendant feelings as if it happened yesterday. It would be another four months before the answer came as to why I was seeing and feeling this. I have talked with many people who have something similar to this chasm in their lives. Some call it a wall. Inevitably they all say they keep hitting up against it, getting nowhere. Some say they are ready to climb over the wall; some say they are ready to break down the wall; some unknowingly want to keep hitting the wall and expect to get a different result.
My experience has shown me that continually hitting the wall and expecting a different result creates anxiety. Anxiety is practicing failure in advance. (I share one of my experiences with feeling anxiety in another post.) When we find ourselves at the brink of a chasm or at the foot of a wall, we have a few choices: 1) walk alongside it; 2) keep hitting it and falling down; 3) back away and retreat; or 4) figure out how to step over the chasm or climb the wall to the next level.
Do you have a chasm? Do you have a wall? Do you have something that you keep hitting up against? Do you have something that is holding you hostage and maybe even showing up as anxiety because you are fearful about what answers may mean or if you will be up to the task?
If so, I invite you to literally look up and ask, “What’s up?” Not in a derogatory manner but in a sincere plea to your Higher Power. What does UP look like for you? The answer is literally your next move to leave the chasm or wall behind you…
Ask. It matters!
(first published Jan 6 2015)